“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours." Henry David Thoreau
For a number of years I have found this quote inspiring and even a guiding principle for me professionally. The implication of following one's dream with determination and perseverance being rewarded has motivated me though the years. The notion of continuing to try and overcoming your own limits would bring success has a strong appeal for me.
However as I watched the NCAA basketball tournament and considered my own life I realized that even when you are confident, determined and giving your best, your dream may not be realized. For some their dream of making the NCAA tournament was realized but for others the dream was loftier – to win a championship. Even at times when you do your very best or the best that you can, you may not be successful. For those graduating seniors as strong as their desire was to win a championship, that dream will not be realized for many. Does that diminish their dream?
One of the other principles I adhere to as Jim Collins puts it is confronting the brutal facts. As a realist, understanding the facts allows you to know what may or may not be possible. To understand that others may have a higher level of skill than you or may be better prepared for the situation is to recognize your own limits. It can be difficult to accept the brutal facts. “If I just prepare a little longer” or “just try a little more, I can succeed” are often things we tell ourselves. As much as I want to believe in those words, sometimes a little more preparation and little more effort is not going to make the difference. So what happens when you realize that your professional dream will not be realized?
Our dreams may change over time. They evolve, they grow, they reshape and are even replaced with new dreams. And while we may always be striving to reach our dream, at some point as a professional we may realize that our dream may not be able to be obtained. Like the basketball tournament illustrates, the dream of being a champion is limited. So is it enough that you pursuit your dream with all your ability, even if you don't realize it?
For me my professional dreams took a serious turn about two and half years ago. My mother passed away and I became the primary caregiver for my father. On Thanksgiving 2012, I made the decision that my father would move in with me so that I could better care for him and insure his quality of life. The burial facts are my personal and professional life changed in significant ways. The reality is that I no longer consider some professional opportunities and I will not realize some of my professional goals. It doesn't mean I've given up but it does mean that some things will never happen for me that I desired.
For those that can realize their dreams I am happy for them and admire them and for others who realize that they may never reach their dream, I understand how that feels. What I have learned is that no matter how confident and determined you are, life may sidetrack your dreams. Now comes the part of figuring how to live with the idea that you will not reach that dream that you have sought for so long and what new dream can you find.